Swap Smoking for Sex.

Does less Smoking mean more Sex?

Buck Before Quitting

While many viewed the latest increase on a packet of Cigarettes to be extortion, up to £14, it delighted my friend Buck who wished it had been more. Deciding to quit the 40 a day habit, Buck now has excess money and can afford regular visits to his local brothel.

‘Fucking sure beats coughing,’ he says. And when asked if he missed a satisfying smoke afterwards-he replied, ‘Inhaling a succulent breast provides better satisfaction.’

While we all miss him in the local tobacconist, we don't begrudge him his new horny lifestyle. If only I could join him! Unfortunately, I never opted to smoke. Had I done so, I too could have quit and found myself with lots of spare money. Buck suggested I start smoking now, he reasoned-‘Cigarettes will cost £20 a packet in the near future, people who quit then will become wealthy, probably have enough money to live in a brothel permanently.’

Buck Without Cigarettes

I don' have a head for finances, but I'll certainly give his advice some thought. Meanwhile, I'm sticking with my right hand,-at least there are no nicotine stains on it.